A little of this and that

I realized that there is nothing perfect in this world. It seems all this time I was seeking perfection, searching it in every person who turned back and smiled at me. But it was all but an illusion, a mirage that I had seen in the desert that was my heart and sometimes my mind. And yet I yearn perfection so much. You know what they say about that feeling when someone you truly love leaves you in the middle of nowhere of your life and than you alone have to find your way back when all your life you have been led by their hand? Well, it's that feeling and more. When you realize that what you fought for with the entire world with every will in your fragile body and soul was all for a lie; a fabrication of your own mind. And suddenly you feel like a fool, suddenly you are everything you ever hated in the world. 

                       We spent so much time thinking of the perfect life, the perfect moment, the perfect dream and everything as long as it has perfect in it. Well, it is nothing but a crumpled, cracked faded old building covered by the most vivid and dazzling facade. 

                         Change it seems is so inevitable. We are the being of change. We grow, we live, we breathe in change. Every second, the Earth is never in the same place as before, every minute the Sun throws yet another light born in it completely different from all the other light ever thrown in this place since the beginning of time, every hour the weather is not the same as before; the cold of the winter is replaced by a warm almost enveloping air moving swiftly towards summer. Change is everywhere. It is the single most rule through which reality must sustain. It seems than it must be the easiest thing in the world. As easy as breathing or thinking or dreaming about the past. But it is quite contrary. The prospect of change is the most difficult thing and can scare anyone. Change is what I fear the most, change in my ideals and the reality that only yesterday I thought to be true. It lies ahead like a long road leading home, the only distance of which can scare anyone. 

                       But it is better to be hurt and left alone rather than to be caressed and loved by a lie. Truth is what I'd choose rather than living in the luxurious life of Ignorance. I will rather have my heart exposed to rain, storms, the winds that blow in the evenings of winter or the scorching heat of summer rather than to have it enveloped and propped up in thick layers of lies. This is what I choose to believe and maybe, this realization is the only thing that make change bearable.